So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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