who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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