Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
