What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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