Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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