drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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