i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
