just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Randomize
