FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
