just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize