make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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