you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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