i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
