Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
