i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
