Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
