haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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