D3 body, D1 cock
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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