That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i think i just lost a toe
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
