do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
