Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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