we're blogging at a bar
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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