I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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