Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
