But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
