I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
