I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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