watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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