She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
