i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
