I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize