The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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