it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
