and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize