It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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