i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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