he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
