my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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