i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
