I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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