im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
