i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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