Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
