Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
