This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
