I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
