HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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