Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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