Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize