He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
