I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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