Nicole vs. Life
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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