Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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