And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
