All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
