btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she woke up with a sticky ear
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
