she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
