If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
