Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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