And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
