You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
