Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
