and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
