so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
