youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
