'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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