Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
