it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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