At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize