i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize