Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
